Me: *sits in towel for 6 months after showering*
3ridan: well i already know im going to hell at this point it’s really go big or go home
internetexplorers: instead of holding a grudge you could just hold my boobs
im slowly unlearning how to english
vvierd: true embarrassment lies within your first email address
i get really uncomfortable when people don’t maximize their browser window
tom-sits-like-a-whore: whenever weird shit happens to me i don’t even question it i just walk away because i will not be one of those people in the first 30 seconds of Supernatural no sir no ma’am
lordcaliborn: i feel really bad when people screw up in the olympics like no no let them do it again i’m sure they can do it right if they tried again oh no
Calls grocery store.....
Me: Do you have cotton balls?
Me: Does it tickle when you walk?
Worker: *Hangs up*
bombliate: how weird is it to have pets though like a random animal just lives in your house and you can’t communicate with it but you both just accept it
petparent: Too bad you can’t get abs from laughing at your own jokes, because I would have an 8 pack
cornchipz: awkwardcontent: Fun fact: Humans are deuterostomes, which means that when they develop in the womb the anus forms before any other opening. Which basically means at one point you were nothing but an asshole. some people never develop beyond this stage